Healing Starts in the Nervous System
From Survival to Safety
Have you ever found yourself shutting down during a difficult conversation, lashing out in anger without meaning to, or feeling overwhelmed by seemingly small situations?
That’s not weakness. That’s your nervous system in survival mode.
When we go through trauma, especially if it’s chronic or repeated, our nervous system adapts in ways meant to protect us. This can look like:
💥 Fight: snapping, arguing, getting angry to regain control
✈️ Flight: avoiding, overworking, or always staying busy
❄️ Freeze: zoning out, feeling numb, disconnected from your body
🐕 Fawn: people-pleasing, over-apologizing, avoiding conflict at all costs
These are not character flaws. They’re survival strategies your body learned to keep you safe.
Your Brain Doesn’t “Understand”. It Just Reacts
Here’s something most people don’t realize:
Your brain isn’t interpreting reality the way you do. It’s not saying, “This is a conversation with your boss,” or “This is a safe environment.”
It’s just processing data.
If the sights, sounds, tone of voice, or body language resemble something dangerous from your past, even a little, your brain reacts as if there’s a tiger in the room.
It anticipates pain, loss, or danger before your conscious mind even catches up.
This is not overreacting. This is predictive protection.
It’s your brain saying:
“I’ve seen this before. It hurt last time. I’m not taking chances.”
The Good News: Your Nervous System Can Change
Thanks to neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to rewire itself, we now know that it’s possible to train your nervous system. Just like muscles, it can be strengthened, calmed, and brought back into balance.
You don’t have to live in a constant state of hypervigilance. But healing doesn’t come from “thinking your way out of it.” It comes from experiencing safety again, consistently and gently.
Evidence-Based Tools That Work
Here are some proven techniques that can help re-regulate your nervous system:
Breathwork
Deep, slow breathing stimulates the vagus nerve, signaling to your body that you are safe.
Grounding Techniques
Use your senses to bring yourself into the present. Notice 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste. This tells your brain: we are here now, not in danger.
Somatic Movement
Simple movements like shaking, stretching, walking, or gentle yoga help your body release trapped stress. Trauma often lives in the body, and movement is how it gets metabolized.
Polyvagal-Informed Co-Regulation
We’re wired to heal in connection. Just being with someone calm and safe (a therapist, coach, or friend) can help your nervous system shift out of survival mode.
Visualization and Safety Anchors
Imagining a safe place, person, or memory, even if it’s made up, can activate a felt sense of calm. Your brain responds to imagined safety almost the same way it does to real safety.
Check Out This Link: Short & Long Self-Regulation Exercises
Looking for practical tools to start with?
👉 Click here for a list of self-regulation exercises: from quick 2 to 10-second resets to deeper practices that help your body feel grounded and calm again.
Whether you only have a moment or a whole hour, there’s something here to support your nervous system in real time.
Train, Don’t Shame
It’s easy to get frustrated when old patterns show up again. But remember: you didn’t choose your trauma responses; they chose you to keep you alive. Healing isn’t about eliminating them. It’s about building new options.
With regular practice, your nervous system begins to feel safe again. And when your body no longer expects danger around every corner, you gain back your freedom to choose how you respond, rather than react.
You Are Not Broken. You Are Adapted
This journey isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about honoring how brilliantly your nervous system tried to protect you… and now offering it new experiences of safety, calm, and connection.
You can move beyond survival. And you don’t have to do it alone.
About the Author
Ilse Gevaert is a psychologist and coach specializing in neurodiversity (such as Autism and ADHD), giftedness, twice-exceptionality (2e), trauma, recovery from narcissistic abuse, and resilience. She holds a Harvard specialization in Leadership and Management, as well as a certificate in Women in Leadership from Cornell University.
Ilse is the founder of the Resilient Minds Blog, a free self-help psychology blog.
💬 Ready to Regulate, Reconnect, and Heal?
You don’t have to keep living in survival mode. Whether you’re managing anxiety, trauma, neurodivergence, or just trying to feel safe in your own body again, there is a path forward.
🌿 I offer trauma-informed coaching and evidence-based tools to help you:
✔️ Understand your nervous system
✔️ Break free from old patterns
✔️ Feel more grounded, calm, and empowered in daily life
👉 Book a 1-hour private online session: One-on-One Online Session
👉 Or book your free 15-minute consult here: ilse.resilientminds@gmail.com